From the Edge of a Cigarette
by KPopAnimeFanatic
Summary: Shizuo Heiwajima has always been a man of simple logic. If you're happy, you're happy. If you're sad, you're sad. A perfectly fine way to live and think from an idealistic point of view. But in Ikebukuro? Not exactly. Not in a town in which the norm defies societal standards, and in Shizuo's case, a tremendous amount of effort is required to live like so.
1. Prologue

Prologue

I was never meant to be in relationships.

I was never meant to be loved by others.

It all started when I was about eight years old. For several minutes, I had been looking in the kitchen fridge for a cup of pudding that I'd saved to eat hours prior. I was about to give up when I turned to see my younger brother sitting at the table, an empty pudding cup resting in front of him. I stood in shock as the anger began to build up within me.

_Rage. Hurt. Kill._

Where I suddenly found the strength to carry a refrigerator and threaten the life of my own brother, I don't know. I collapsed soon afterwards, along with the fridge.

From there on, my childhood can be described as a period of bitter conflict distinguished by impulsive violence. I continued to lose my temper, throw heavy objects, and break my bones until I finally got to high school, where my body had supposedly been injured enough as to become virtually immune to any further damage when picking up any sizeable object around me. But that didn't stop people from picking damn fights with me.

To be honest, I wish this monstrous strength had never existed. I could have lived the peaceful life that I desire, and maybe even have gotten away with avoiding that damn flea Izaya. I could have found the quiet time that I so ardently covet, while making a few decent friends to share my thoughts with along the way. Tsk. The only "friend" who's stuck onto me since my childhood is Shinra. That annoying idiot.

Yet I am still living, and there are so many people around me — people whose business, whose routines, and whose lives have nothing to do with mine. I have no reason to talk to or care about them, either … if only they didn't piss me off so much.

In the end, I am pretty lucky to have a lot of good friends; I would probably explode out of exhaustion otherwise. Tom-san, Celty, Kasuka … They're all extremely tolerant of me, saving time in their busy schedule to listen to me ramble on about my day without ticking me off in the slightest. I really shouldn't take such gifts for granted when I get to see them every day.

Ha. And I even have a love life.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

My name is Heiwajima Shizuo. _Heiwa-_ for peace, _Shizu-_ for quiet — two major parts of my name that perfectly describe my life motivations. I'm just another part of a whole that is my city and hometown, Ikebukuro. Grew up fine, talk fine, and live fine when no one's annoying me. Really, all I want is peace. If only I could get some within this rambunctious city of mine.

I'm the bodyguard of a debt collector. Sounds shady, but it's actually an okay job, because the collector is my sempai Tom-san, who nurtured me during my rough times in junior high. After graduating from Raira Academy, I had a pretty hard time finding a job that I could stick with. People were annoying, and I was annoyed. So then Tom-san found me, and gave me a position that I keep to this day. It's kind of a pain because I get mad almost every day of work, but Tom-san can calm me down the second I act up. I really admire him for that. Aside from work, I just like to walk around town and indulge myself in the city spectacles that I don't have time to notice otherwise. From time to time, I'll also find Celty passing by, and she'll stop for a chat. Tsk, maybe I owe her as much as my life for sticking by my side all these turbulent years in a turbulent city.

Little time has passed since those three color gangs ended their petty war. The town has more or less returned to its peaceful state. Finally, I can go back outside without feeling as annoyed as before. But even so, 'Bukuro is a place that's always bouncing, whether it's color gangs or the yakuza or what have you. If anything, I've been driven insane to the greatest extent possible by the endless number of annoying people who reside here: people who want love, money, and other annoying things for the sake of their happiness. Not that that's bad, but don't they have a debt to atone for before they can even start complaining? No one has time to listen to your shit when you have nothing to warrant it except your shitty self.

Ah, what a pain to think about. And that's considered a normal and peaceful day in 'Bukuro. Speaking of pain … That's right; what a horrible reminder. That damn flea Izaya. I wish I'd never seen him in my life, more or less considered his existence. Izaya … Just the thought of him makes me want to throw up. That twisted guy is never up to any good. Following our graduation, he's since moved away from Ikebukuro and got himself settled in an office in Shinjuku, but he's obviously using it as a place of refuge to watch over and manipulate the lives of the innocent residents of 'Bukuro while disengaging himself from all the madness! I'm going to kill that guy someday. For ruining my life, and for ruining others' lives.

Whatever bad happens in Ikebukuro is because of Izaya. Every unidentifiable, unpleasant sensation that piques my instincts is because of Izaya. I can't live life the way I want to because of Izaya. In fact, he was the one who distorted my life from high school onward. Ah, I can't stand that damn flea. Izaya!

"Yo, Shizuo. Ready for another day?" It's Tom-san, waiting for me at the bottom of my apartment steps.

"Mm," I reply, and follow quietly behind him.


	3. Chapter 2

Earlier this afternoon (around 3 P.M.), Tom-san decided to let me off early and call it a day. It's been kind of quiet ever since, which is pretty nice. I walk around town for the next half hour, checking out the many sights and sounds of Ikebukuro that I don't get to see during work. The people are bustling as per usual, but in a way that almost makes me feel jumpy myself (amidst the warm weather). It feels pretty nice to stroll in the sunshine for once. At one point, I dig in my pants pocket to check my phone for the time. It reads 4:30. '_S'pose I can get a little more time in the city before heading home_,' I think to myself. So I continue doing what I had been — and a pretty far distance from my starting point, too — until I see my younger brother Kasuka driving down a nondescript road with what seems to be a passenger in the back.

Within the span of a millisecond, I feel his gray eyes make contact with mine. An odd sensation builds up in my body, and I get the feeling that he wants me to follow him. So I do. I can't follow him through that narrow alleyway he chose to pass, but his actions from there on out are clear. He's going to his house.

I start on the normal path to Kasuka's place, making sure no one's following behind me (i.e., the paparazzi). As his older brother, I have to protect Kasuka in some way or another, instead of being the burden I always have been to his busy affairs. When I reach my destination, he's already waiting there with his passenger still rested in the seat behind him. He says something to her, and she appears to nod in agreement. Both of them come out of the car at the same time.

"Thanks for getting my message, Nii-san," says Kasuka after locking the car door. "I have some things to talk about with you, as well as a person to introduce."

I stare at Kasuka in confusion. Of course, it's nice to be able to talk to my brother after so long, but why does he seem so prepared? Ah, like I care. "Uh, sure. But who's that person over there?" I point toward the passenger. With an average height and youthful face, she stands with a reticent demeanor in her nondescript business attire. Probably in her early twenties. Prior to my question, she stood half exposed and half hidden behind Kasuka's long cardigan, probably scared of me or something. But this time, she comes out with a mask of a nervous and gentle persona.

With an extended arm and courteous bow, Nagata Yumi greets me with a silent hello. I take her hand but hesitate to shake it until a few seconds later. I feel something weird about her, mysterious about her, and it bothers me. When I look back up at Kasuka, he nods in understanding. Perhaps an "I'll tell you later" sort of situation.

Together we go inside Kasuka's apartment, girl and all. I take off my blue sunglasses out of respect. By the time we settle, I can feel her mix of fight and anticipation. I suspect that she's not from 'Bukuro, and is maybe looking around for a job with connections from Kasuka.

For a moment, my attention is diverted from the girl to my brother. He explains that she just moved in from the outskirts of Ikebukuro and is searching for someone to help her get herself situated in the mainstream area of the town. He knows her by way of her parents, who happen to be family friends with his manager. "Good people," he says. I glance back at the girl, who remains seated in silence and doesn't appear to be interested in our chatter.

I reply with a suspicious "Really?", only to receive a blank stare from my brother. He turns around and beckons the girl over. She obliges accordingly, without a hint of surprise or emotion. I turn toward her with displeasure. I stare at her and say, "Wait." She waits. "Who are you, really?"

From the second I ask her that question to the instant she sits down to join us, I swear I see a total change in the girl. The transition is so smooth but so superficial. Though her initial expression is one of disinterest and lethargy, it gradually evolves to become one of wide-eyed, deer-in-headlights astonishment. It pisses me off. "I thought we'd already introduced ourselves earlier? My name is Nagata Yumi, remember?" Probably no one else sees but me, but at the very edge of her lips is the faintest smirk of egotistic pompousness, reflecting the views of a broken cynic who lives by means of her own rules. I take an instant dislike to her, similar to the way I dislike Izaya. Her eyes do not evince the kind of villainous intent you see in those of the flea, but the superficiality is there.

I frown, switching my focus to Kasuka, who sits quietly waiting. He probably knows everything I'm thinking, as well as what the girl is thinking. But looking at him calms me down a little, especially after he returns the look with a gentle gaze. I feel a little better.

It's kind of hard to believe, but it's been only three seconds since the girl's reply. So it isn't awkward when I respond, "Never mind that."

"So Nii-san," asks Kasuka. "Now that we've gotten to know each other, do you mind showing Nagata-san around Ikebukuro in place of me and my busy schedules? I know it's a big favor to ask, so you don't have to do it if you don't want to."

I look up at Kasuka in slight annoyance, but at the same time, I'm kind of excited. "Me?" I inquire. "Would I really be fit for the job?" All this time, I thought people were scared of me, but now I get a chance to really interact with someone new — and maybe in the right way. I still don't really like the girl, but maybe we could get to know each other and grow close over the years. My brain tingles at the thought.

Kasuka seems somewhat relieved at my response, though his countenance continues to reflect a deadpan expression. "I have confidence you'll do well," he murmurs, and stands up to get ready to leave. "Well, my next schedule is here, so why don't you two stay around and chat for a while? Otherwise you can leave." Those are his final words before he picks up his coat from the hanger and closes the door from outside.

Right when he locks the door, I sense something weird, and there the girl is, standing straight in front of me. We're barely a foot away from each other. She leans into my face, examining all my features as if I were a robot. "Interesting," she claims. "But I still can't read you."

I look at her quizzically. "Ah, sorry for the disturbance. I was trying to read you throughout the entire session, but I just can't figure you out, Heiwajima-san. I stayed quiet for your younger brother; he seems awfully worried about you. What a wonderful sibling." I am taken aback by her string of words and look in shock, but before I can open my mouth, she continues. "People are so wonderful, aren't they? Not true, but one can always dream. Hey, I noticed you didn't like me very much. Don't worry, I don't like you either. So let's get straight to the point. Will you show me around town until I get used to it? No matter how hard it is to see through you, I can get through that you're good enough a person and won't hurt me. Or will you?"

Her verbosity is starting to get on my nerves, as well as our physical proximity. I try to ask her to move back a little when she makes a final remark. "I just want to get by, okay? Survive. I don't care what you have to say, I don't care what you do. Just don't hurt me, and I think we'll be on good terms."

I look downward in thought for a few seconds, then shrug with a casual "Okay."


End file.
